Prevention Strategies

Prom Season

The dresses have been purchased, tuxedos have been rented, and the dance floors have been reserved. The only thing left for this year's promgoers to have the night of their lives is to get to and from the prom safely. Automobile crashes are the leading cause of death among teens, and according to recent NHTSA (National Highway and Transport Safety Administration) figures, approximately 28 percent of traffic deaths of 15- to 20-year-olds are alcohol-related.

In this flurry of satin gowns, corsages, boutonnieres, and picture-taking, it’s easy to forget that prom is about more than a night of dress-up and dancing.

For teenagers, prom is viewed as a rite of passage, a time when peer pressure and sexual decisions reach a boiling point, when relationships become tinged with temptation.

As a parent, prom can be frightening when you consider these realities. You want your child to have a wonderful, magical evening, but at the same time you want to protect her from the dangers lurking out in the real world.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to help ensure your child’s safety on prom night. Setting boundaries is a must (such as no coed sleepovers, no hotel rooms, or be home by 1 a.m.), but it’s also important to do more than just set rules. You actually have to talk about the realities and dangers that exist on prom night.

Choose a time when you can be alone together and talk freely, such as when you are driving in the car together. To begin, you might say, “I know you are excited about prom. I remember how I felt for my prom. But I also remember there was a lot of pressure to drink and have sex. Do you feel anything like that?”

Talk about the potential pitfalls of drinking and drugs, such as how it can cause you to lose your inhibitions, do things you might regret, and even lead to accidents and death. At the same time, be realistic. Tell your teenager that if she is at a party where drinking occurs or if the driver of her ride is intoxicated, she always can call you for help, no matter what time it is.

Proms should be celebrated as alcohol-free events, which take a combined effort of parents, teens, schools, community, and law enforcement. Here are some tips for parents and teens.

For Parents:

• Know and discuss the school’s code of conduct before the prom with your child.
• Does the school’s code of conduct extend to off-site functions that have been approved by the school?
• Know who your child is attending the prom with and discuss the events for pre- and post-prom parties with other parents.
• Discuss the dangers of drinking and driving.
• Pre-plan and role-play answers that your child can use to get out of uncomfortable situations. (e.g., offered alcohol, getting a ride from an intoxicated driver, etc.)
• Discuss guidelines and a curfew. Discuss the consequences of violating these rules.
• Discuss travel plans, use a reputable limousine service that will not allow a person to bring, serve or introduce alcohol into the vehicle.
• Know who is driving to the prom and who will be a passenger. Limit the number of passengers to increase safety and reduce driver distractions.
• Know the location of post-prom parties and who is sponsoring them.
• Talk to your teenager about the serious dangers and consequences of underage drinking and driving.
• If your child’s plans change, confirm the change with the parents of other children.
• Remind your child that you are there for them, if they need a ride home or to an after-prom affair.

For Teens:

• Alcohol is illegal for persons under the age of twenty-one. Underage drinking is illegal and can result in arrest, injury, or worse!
• Don’t let friends drink and drive.
• Plan ahead — make sure you have a safe plan for prom night.
• Discuss your plans with your friends; remind each other about responsible decision-making and confronting peer pressure.
• Do not accept any drinks from someone you do not know. If you leave your drink, discard it and get a new one.
• Do not leave your possessions unattended.
• Learn the warning signs for alcohol poisoning and drug intoxication. Contact 911 for assistance and immediate treatment.
• Take extra money or have a responsible person available for transportation for a safe ride home or in case an emergency arises.
• Remember to charge your cell phone and have it with you.
• Know where you are and where you are going. Keep your parents and friends informed.
• Trust your instincts. If you feel endangered or uncomfortable, leave immediately.
• Intoxication by alcohol or drugs can lead to poor judgment and dangerous situations.
• Remember to contact your parents if your plans change.
• Practice and discuss answers you can use to get out of uncomfortable situations.
• Do not allow anyone in your car or limo that has drugs or weapons. It is dangerous and everyone in the car is at risk of getting arrested.
• It is illegal to alter your driver’s license or any other form of government identification.

For more information on planning for your teens’ prom visit SADD.

http://www.sadd.org/promplan.htm

Six Easy Ways to Help Your Kids Avoid Alcohol and Drug Use

1. Talk to Your Kids about Alcohol
   Sometimes the easiest solutions are the most obvious. Taking a proactive stance and talking to your kids about alcohol and drugs can have dramatic effects on their behavior. Studies show that when kids have clear rules from parents about not drinking alcohol, they are less likely to engage in that behavior. And the best time to talk to your kids about these subjects is before they get in trouble because of it. Take time when everyone is calm and talk in an open, non-judgmental manner with your kids. TimetoTalk.org is an excellent Web site with advice, how-to's and other resources to help parents talk to their kids about alcohol. You can also download a free guide How to Hold Crucial Conversations about Drugs with Your Teenager.
2. Make Family Meals a Priority
   It is amazing how the simple act of having dinner together can affect the choices your children make. Studies show that among 12- and 13-year olds, those who have infrequent family dinners (fewer than five times a week) are three times likelier to use alcohol, four times likelier to use tobacco, and six times likelier to use marijuana.
3. Make Time to Connect
   We all lead busy lives, but there are opportunities throughout the day where we can talk with our kids and create lasting bonds. Dedicated family game nights are a great idea that brings everyone together in a fun way. If you are driving kids to and from school and activities, turn off the radio and ask them to turn off their cells and games. Model good communication skills by telling them about your day and ask them about theirs. Another way to show your children you care is to send simple text messages every now and again telling them you are thinking about them.
4. Offer to Take the Heat
   As we all remember, peer pressure can be overwhelming for children, especially in middle and high school where, often times, kids are meeting new people and trying to make new friends. Tell your kids they can use you as an excuse to get out of alcohol- and drug-related situations (e.g., "My Dad would kill me if I drank a beer." or "I have to get home or my Mom will ground me.")
5. Know Where, When and Who
   Keeping tabs on your kids is an important part of parenting. Knowing where they are, who they will be with, and when they will be home can help keep them out of trouble. Also try to connect with yur kid's friend's parents. If your child is going to be at a friend's house it is important to understand what environment they will be exposed to. Finally, if your children participate in any online communities, you can insist that they "friend" you as a condition of allowing them to use those sites.
6. Monitor the Alcohol and Prescription Drugs in Your House
   If you have alcohol or prescription drugs in your house, keep them secure or as inaccessible by your kids as possible. And be aware of what you have. Some parents mark liquid levels on alcohol bottles. But remember, often times, kids who drink their parent's alcohol will replace the liquid in the bottle with water or some other beverage.

10 Resolutions That Show Your Kids You Care

1. Teach your children to trust you by seeing you as a role model.
2. Be patient, not just tolerant. Apologize when you make a mistake or do something you regret.
3. Ask teens what they need from you—and do whatever you can to meet those needs.
4. Listen to your teens, a lot. Avoid interrupting.
5. Teach your children about ethics, values and principles they can apply in choices and decision making.
6. Help them discover the feeling of gratitude, not just to say thank you.
7. Keep the promises you make. If you do not keep your word, acknowledge that. Help your teen understand the circumstances or choices that precipitated the change in your plans.
8. Answer your teen’s questions and be consistent. When you notice behavioral changes in them, make yourself available and encourage them to talk about what is going on in their life.
9. Be understanding when they have a difficult time and let them know you will love them no matter what.
10. Be diligent. Have ongoing conversations with your kids about the risks of drugs and alcohol.